Estoy cansado un poco.

The past few days and nights have been gorgeous. This morning I smoked a cigarette on the porch while the sun rose and the paperboy did his route down my street. I finished my last painting for the upcoming gallery at The Goodfoot, "I am, therefore I think." Lately, I am enjoying ink more than any other medium. I finished the painting around 8 am, and finally gave in to sleep not much after. I slept until 12, and have been pretty exhausted for the day, but my brain still seems to be running at a commendable pace.
I recorded vocals for the 2nd to last Carrion Spring song earlier today (for our first full length album), which is called "Scum Fuck Angelz." I wrote those lyrics really late 2 nights ago. Thom requested that I write about "Our wavering faith in the punk/hardcore culture, and how capitalism has been successfully coopting off of the scene for profits... and also our possible optimism in the future of the culture." I settled with this:

this sinking ship
wasn't ever meant
to hold such weight
lead astray
such dead weight.

These corpses
ain't no angelz
The motive's a poisoned well
a stye, a blinding cell.

Rapacious incentives
program sedation
we've been robbed,
The fight has not been lost
it's just been stolen.
The fight has not been lost
it's just been stolen.
We've been robbed...
while turning our own against us
while turning our own against us!

These hands may appear to be
folded and dormant...
Well, these hands will soon appear
around your fucking necks

This year's model has been breaking ground,
while last year's heroes are buried, still breathing.
So let the bodies pile high
we're bringin out our dead
to begin again.

I mean shit, it's a little cheesy... oh well. It is indeed punk.
I am surprised I had not lost my voice recording the vocals... I gotta scream like a motherfucker to have them sound the way I want. Last time I recorded some of the other songs, I not only lost my voice, but somehow lost feeling in most of my left hand, and some of my right. I think I pinched a nerve in my neck, which seems to be attatched to my hand... or something along those lines. It takes almost months to regain feeling. I am very grateful that did not happen this time around.
I am almost counting the damn seconds until financial aid disbursement... 3 days left. I think I have 25 dollars remaining until that awaited day. Which is a bummer because Phil just called me and said he just arrived to visit from New York, and they are at the bar Mashtun. But it is apparently 8 dollar pitchers. I'll probably skate on down there in a minute. Just after I finish coming up with names for these paintings. I already fucked over the owner of the gallery today... I was running so irresponsibly late that I wasn't able to drop them off today. I promised I'd drop them off first thing tomorrow, so I got to get it all labeled and ready to be hung before I go out and get my drink on... and hopefully I don't crash at the bar. Or, I'll take a caffeine pill and remain terribly delirious and fucked up until the bars close. Ok, it's settled.

Ok I'll blog now.

This is where I currently live. I have lived here, on NE Garfield Ave. and Rosa Parks, one block east of MLK Blvd, since July of this year. Up until last week, we had a flourishing green grape vine covering most of the porch, but the fruits grew far too big, tore the damned gutter down, and the bastards at the rental agency cut that shit down. I wish them all a horrible case of diarrhea for a full week. Only what looks like a twisted spine remains hanging on the porch... it is quite sad, a stump from one of the bigger limbs continually leaks a sort of saltyish liquid that looks like sobbing. Poor grape vine. People say it'll grow back next year... I have faith in the lil' guy.
That top room is mine. There is a ledge along the window where I play guitar and read and doodle sometimes. When no one is home, I play guitar in the stair well... it sounds like I am inside

instrument. We have wood floors and huge basement where I set up my studio and our band equipment. I live with 4 of my good friends, Paul, Thom, Phil, and Johnny. It's sad not living with girls anymore.

That is Carrion Spring, who is Phil, Thom, and myself. We've been playing since last November, and are in the process of finishing our first full length album. We've played some shows, and most of them have been wonderful. I scream very loudly in the band, and love every second I get to play with them.

That's a room I recently accomplished for a gallery called The Manor of Art, at this artist community, MilePost5, up on 82nd and Oregon. Most of the installations were made by my friend Ashley Costa, and she did a radical job on them. I have other galleries and live murals coming up, and am incredibly grateful and excited for these opportunities. The 2+ weeks of working day and night, subsisting on PBR, pack after pack of cigarettes, trail mix, energy drinks and mild drugs, shall remain unforgettable. Hundreds of artists had rooms, and being around them for those weeks cannot be put into words... everyone constantly remarked how it was like summer camp for crazy people with out any rules but to make art, and lots of it, by any means possible. The mayor of Portland came up to me one of the last days of the exhibition, shook my hand and said I was one of his favorite rooms... I blushed.

I took 2 summer courses, Spanish 202 and Radical & Revolutionary Social Movements. Spanish was 5 days a week for 2 weeks. It was like getting a Flu shot, minus all the itchiness following the injection. The Radical Social Movements class was pretty tight, I read a lot of good literature and essays. I highly recommend Gustav Landauer. I received an A in both classes, considering my lack of involvement the last week, for that was the start of the gallery.

As soon as these paintings are finished for the upcoming galleries, I want to go with James up to Seattle and wander the city for a few days. I also want to go camping before the 28th, which starts the fall term. I hope I do at least one of the 2.

I've been taking way too many Vivarin pills, and feel sort of white trash when I think about my current dependency on them. But it's the only thing that is helping me finish these projects right now. I'll kick the habit soon enough.. and hopefully cigarettes with them as well. I doubt the latter will be successful anytime soon though, American Spirit mediums are just too good...guh.

My favorite music right now is European screamo and depressing folk. I recently got hold of the new Propagandhi and I have been pretty into that as well.

I don't sleep well since the beginning of August. I sometimes don't sleep a single wink and crash the following night around midnight, but even then sleep less than 8 hours. I hope I can put an end to that when I start the fall term. Maybe if I discontinue eating Vivarin pills i'll find the answer to that problem.

My bicycle is a wreck as of lately, so I skateboard much more now. For my birthday, back in July, my mom bought me a new one, and I made sure to get super fast bearings and softer wheels. I ride dangerously fast and enjoy skating in the closed down Payless Shoe Store parking lot right by my house. There are these gnarly banks you can ride on, and it reminds me of skating in Brooklyn.

I haven't had much pocket cash as of lately, so I have been eating quite simple and meals aren't always that incredible. Financial aid disbursement is in 1 week, just in time for the Music Fest North West festival. I just got word that I can volunteer for Corey's bandmate's record label and receive free admission now. I hear Sunny Day Real Estate sold out... but I still may have a chance now with this wrist band. I'll kill a man if I don't see them.

Ok I return to my painting now.